The Dog Walker
One of my friends hired a dog walker to get their pup some exercise during the day. The dog walker assured him that he was very thorough and would get to know the dog and report on all its activities. I'm not sure my friend was prepared for the level of thoroughness, because he didn't respond favorably when the dog walker texted him a photo of his dog's poop. And then another, and at least one more every time he took the dog for a walk. That's a level of reportage you don't get too many places. I wonder what the dog walker's camera roll looks like on his phone. He either spends a few minutes every day deleting photos of dog poop, or he has to scroll through dozens of dog poop photos every time he wants to show someone a picture that's not dog poop.