I was at the gym today feeling guilty about how I never go there and stretching my quads after too short a workout all the while feeling too sore from my short workout. And while stretching I felt the normal pang of guilt for not doing knee bends to strengthen the tendons around my knees to prevent knee injuries. You see, my former coworker Chris at the Lift House in Utah told me once that if I do one-legged dips for five minutes a day, I'll never injure my knee while skiing. I don't ski much anymore, nor have I ever injured my knee, but I've always felt guilty for not setting aside those five minutes a day. It's so simple, why couldn't I find five minutes a day? I could get up five minutes earlier. Go to bed five minutes later. Do knee dips during commercials on the Colbert Report. Then I remembered that Chris also told me that the greatest Replacements album was Sorry Ma, I Forgot to Take Out the Trash, and that ski helmets were a passing fad that would never catch on. Also, he had long hair and espoused the virtue of tattoo wedding rings. In light of his track record on being correct, I'm not sure why I believed him when he said knee dips would forever protect me from knee injuries. In any case, not something I need to feel guilty about anymore.