Not A Horrible Person

So, I'm not a horrible person. It's one of those phrases. "I'm not a horrible person." "I love you." These are phrases that are never supposed to be followed by "but." So, I'm not a horrible person, but my dog at 92 Extra Strength Tums the other day. I called the vet. I called poison control. Poison control told me that they couldn't advise me on dogs, so they'd tell me what they'd tell someone how owned a 40lb kid: "Take him to the emergency room." I could not, so they gave me a phone number for a dog poison control line. That line charged me $39 to tell me that my dog would survive, but he would be sick. Your dog will survive, "but" he's going to be very sick. They were right, which shouldn't have been a surprise. I don't even know if I'd survive eating 92 Tums, but if I did, I'd plan on being very sick after tearing down a plastic gate, eating a bottle of Tums, and then washing it down with Christmas tree water.

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