Sleep Clinic Rules

My doctor says that the quality of my sleep is improved when I lay on my side, so he suggested that I sew a tennis ball to the back of a shirt that I can wear to bed so that I won't roll on my back in the middle of the night. A friend of mine once spent an entire night sleeping on a large hard plastic Bart Simpson doll, and he never bothered rolling of it. Alcohol may have played a factor in that night, though. I'm spending another night at the sleep clinic tonight. They monitor your breathing levels and make sure you're getting healthy sleep. Before you go in for the overnight visit, they give you a long questionnaire about your sleeping habits. Part of it asks how much alcohol you drink per day, so I said I almost always have at least one drink per day, often two, and usually more on weekend nights. My doctor told me that I should have a couple beers before heading into the clinic for the overnight so they could get test results consistent with my normal sleeping habits. That's my favorite part of the sleep clinic--being able to drink in a bar on the way there and tell people I'm under doctor's orders to have another one.

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