I'm Already Gone
Saturday afternoon I was walking down Avenue B on my way to grab a bite to eat when a clipboard-toting woman moved into my orbit. She started towards me trying to engage me or at least and give her an opening to start a conversation. I had on sunglasses and was wearing headphones, so I had plenty of plausible deniability when it came to not seeing her standing there, but she started talking to me anyway, "Good afternoon sir, excuse me..." I kept walking. I knew she wanted me to sign a petition to save the endangered tree shrew or ensure that all orphans would be issued sidearms, and even though I very well might agree with her cause I'm loathe to give strangers so much personal information. When I was a few steps past her she shouted, "I'm trying to get a liquor license and need signatures!" A worthy cause, if there ever were one, but I was a few too steps already gone. If you're trying to add a bar to the neighborhood, I recommend leading with that information instead of, "Good afternoon." You'll make a lot more friends.