There were these two guys standing right behind me at the bar during the U.S. vs Belgium game. It was an issue. You see, one of the things I love about soccer is that there are no commercial breaks. Coming from watching football where a three-hour game has about two hours of commercials, it was a relief to sit and watch a full game. These two guys behind me had never seen a soccer game. I knew that because they were riffing Mystery-Science-Theater-3000-style on the entire game, and all of their jokes were about how they know nothing about soccer. For example, one guy's go to joke was "kick it, no kick it harder!" I don't know what they do professionally, but I'm certain it has nothing to do with having any skill at comedy or even a healthy sense of humor. So, after enduring their terrible jokes for an entire half, with not a single opportunity to turn around and see who was responsible for the terrible riffing, I had a chance at half, and I turned around to look at both of them. There must have been something in my Guinness-glazed eyes because they relocated to a new spot about 15 feet away. The thing is, I love that they came to the game. They probably thought I was mad that they knew nothing about soccer, but that's not it, I was mad that they were so bad at making jokes.
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