Vacation Braggarts

I wore a chef's jacket and beret and worked at the cheese counter in a deli for about six months when I was 20. We sold cheese from all over the world, and I had the same conversation with customers countless times. They would say something like, "I was in France last year and we were on the Mediterranean at this little sidewalk cafe and our French waiter brought us the most delightful cheese. It was soft and sweet and we spread it on a fresh baguette." And I would say, "Brie?" They would smile and nod and share another anecdote from their trip. Of course, what they were really saying when they were trying to solve the Mystery of the Delicious Cheese was, "I went to France! I went to France! I went to France!" And what I always wanted to say was, "I'm so sorry that your friends are so sick of your subtle bragging that you went to France that you've been reduced to telling a beret-wearing, cheese-slicing kid you've never met about your vacation hoping to get a bit of adoration." If you're going to brag about your vacation to someone, at least be serving the cheese to them while doing it, or even better, giving them a lot of wine.

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