The Lord-of-the-Flies-themed Carnival cruise ship finally docked in Alabama, and it sounds like most of the people who spent their four-day cruise bobbing dead in the ocean on a floating port-a-potty survived the ordeal. Many of them even claim that the crew was very helpful, heroically performing their tasks amid sewage-soaked carpets and walls. I have to wonder who among a cruise ship staff would be most helpful during such a disaster, and I would guess that it'd be the hypnotist who performs in the cruise ship's theater. This person would be able to use their Jedi mind skills to convince people that the stench of raw sewage isn't so bad. If I were on the ship, I would find this hypnotist and give him or her a seat of great power in the new, off-shore government I would begin after day two of commandeering the vessel.