Mega Billions

The lottery is a massive waste of money and time. It's a waste of money because you'll never win; it amounts to an elective tax. And it's a waste of time not because it takes time to buy a ticket, but because once you buy one, you end up thinking about all the things you'd do if you did win. The lottery is not good at setting people's expectations. Everyone dreams that they'll win, telling people they won't be seen at work on Monday, and they all have a plan for how they'll handle the winning ticket and the first thing they'll do with all the cash. My friend Frank would rent an armored car and drive at 20mph to turn in the ticket. My friend Brian would go on a year-long bar crawl; I don't think he needs to make plans beyond that year because I think it's not likely he'd survive. Me, I'm trying not to waste time thinking of the bike collection I'd amass.

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