I had lunch at a bar today and when my tab came written at the top of it was "purple shirt." Bartenders use these designations to keep track of who ordered what, but the thing is that I was wearing a dark gray shirt. Very far from the bright purple I felt like I'd been associated with. The same thing happens on the occasions I go to Starbucks. They'll ask, "What's your name sir?" And I'll respond, "Rocky." Then they give an inquisitive look and I'll say, "ROCKY." Without fail my iced coffee has "Rodney" or "Rickee" written on the side. It's gotten to the point that I want to give them a fake name. Something that will go unmistaken when they shout it to the line of people waiting for coffee, but I feel so rotten telling them my name is Balthazar. It's just cruel.