Crime Pays

I put four empty pint glasses in my girlfriend's purse before leaving one of my favorite neighborhood bars a few months ago. She walked away without any hassle, but investigated what was making her bag so heavy once she got outside and found the pints. She was a little upset that I used her as a smuggler, but I figure it was better that she not know. That way not only could she have more convincingly denied knowing that she was breaking the law if she was caught, but her behavior while walking out would be less self-conscious if she didn't know what was going on. I suppose you could say I'm a coward for not doing it myself, but I would point out that I'm also a criminal genius.

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