Whatever Happened to Doug
We used to hangout with this guy named Doug who was from my hometown, and he would wet the bed whenever he stayed over at our house. It won him the nickname "CouchPisser Doug" until we took him Frisbee Golfing and he shot a -3 on his first time out. Then we started calling him "Three-Under Doug," which I'm sure he liked a lot more than the first one. I'm unclear why, maybe it was jealousy over his stellar beginner's luck on the Frisbee Golf course, but someone started a rumor that he engaged in certain physical relationships for $3. Maybe it was confusion surrounding the nickname "Three Under." From then on, he was known as "CouchPisserHandJobThree-Under Doug." We named a character after him on the NHL '97 video game when we created a team, and it was always a delight when he scored a goal and his name ticketed across the bottom of the screen. He was in school to become a teacher, and the last time I saw him he said he was teaching math at a school in the suburbs. He was considering memorizing a dance from a popular rap video to do at a middle-school dance that he was chaperoning later that week. I kind of wonder what nicknames the kids at his school have given him.