Lobster Fights

Restaurant week happened to coincide with my second week of collecting unemployment benefits a few years back. During restaurant week, all the nice restaurants in town offer price fixe dinner options where they sell a normally expensive, high-end meal for a reasonable price. We went to a seafood restaurant for dinner, and I ordered the weekly offering. It turned out to be two lobsters, corn on the cob, salad, and a dessert. I don't even like lobster. I image them as gigantic cockroaches that the chef just killed by dunking in boiling water. It ruins my appetite. So I ate them since I'd ordered it, but before eating them, I pretended they were fighting each other on my table and repeatedly bashed them into each other over my plate. Then I felt kind of bad because the government was subsidizing my lobster fight, and meanwhile there were other people out there who really needed that money. I confided in my friend, and he said, "Man, you've been paying into that system for ages while you were working. Now it's time to enjoy your lobster." I didn't bother telling him that that would be impossible since I don't even like lobster.

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