There are two aspects of air travel that I find unsettling. The first is that wherever you are — Texas, Carolina, Florida — after you get on the plane and they close the doors, everyone begins to act like they're from wherever you're going. You'll notice it most when you're going from a small town to a large city, when people get suspicious that you're rooting through the overhead bin to steal their camera equipment and not just getting your headphones. The other aspect that bothers me is when the cabin crew gets on the PA and says "We're 20 minutes from touchdown in Milwaukee, welcome to Wisconsin." Listen pal, by my math we still have 20 minutes of flying over Lake Michigan, and while that's a very short flight, it's also a very, very long way to swim, so I'd prefer you don't jinx us by saying we've already arrived.