The area where I live employs a lot of security guards. They drive around in little Toyota RAV 4s with flashing yellow lights and ride little Segways while wearing bike helmets. The main purpose of their job as far as I can tell is to tell college kids to get off the lawn and tell food delivery men to walk their bikes. If I were in charge of hiring security guards for this area, the interview would be one question long: Why don't you just become a police officer? My logic is that if there's a really good reason that you can't be a police officer, we might not want you to be a security guard around here.