Worst Seat on the Plane

Beyond question the worst seat on the airplane is the last row of the plane, the middle seat. Unless I'm the one sitting in that seat on a redeye, then the worst seat is the aisle spot right next to me. I am incapable of sleeping on planes. No prescription sleeping meds or amount alcohol has offered me any respite. Instead I sit in my middle seat, drinking beer and watching movie after movie after I get tired of reading (with my light on). As a consequence of the beer drinking, I need to get up every hour to visit the bathroom, conveniently located right next to my seat so I can never really escape the smell. I'll wake the person up right next to me until it is too late and they're in a deep sleep, and then I'll climb over them with my long legs, trying not to touch them. Getting over them without touching them is much easier on the way out than the way back in, so this person and I have many interactions where they wake up to some strange guy climbing over them in the back of the plane. If you ever sit next to me on a cross-country redeye and I have the middle seat, you're better off just offering me your aisle. I'll even promise to keep my light off.