The Spy Business

I've been following the news of the Russian spy ring in the U.S. with interest. You see, I once considered going into the spy business. The fact that I only speak one language counted against me in the CIA hiring process, and I suspect that there's very little need for white guys with Midwestern accents to conduct overseas clandestine operations. I suppose I should sue the CIA for discriminating against my lack of job skills, but I don't want to deal with all the paperwork.