We found out that our middle school teacher had to take a few days off to deal with some kind of digestive, intestinal problem. This was shortly after my friend had put a handful of dirt from the potted plant into his coffee grounds. The dirt probably wouldn't have hurt him, but I'm worried that the little chunks of white fertilizer had some kind of negative effect. The poor guy used to hit on our school's only attractive, single teacher during bus duty. Watching his moves was a spectacular education in how not to attract females. I even briefly considered having a talk with him about not wearing sleeveless undershirts cut from such vibrant colors when he wore white button-ups. After I turned 21, I ran into him once or twice at the bar while he was out looking for ladies. I heard he eventually met someone nice and got married, but I wonder who finally had the courage to talk to him about those undershirts.